The first few hours after knowing Savannah had passed away were so strange. There was this numbness and I felt like I was just going through the motions. Through it all, I could feel a peace from God that I can't describe. It was almost like I could reach in my chest and touch it.
We stayed in a hotel for the rest of the week. We went to the funeral home and had to pick out a coffin, clothes for Savannah to be buried in, and what we wanted for the funeral service. Our friends made this process so easy and the sweet people at the funeral home made our decisions very few.
We had Savannah's funeral a few days later (on Eric's birthday) and then we buried her two days after that.
People ask me all the time, "How do you get through something like that?" "I could never go through that." All I can claim is God's grace. Is God still good when bad times come? YES! If you're believing that only good things happen to Christians and that tragedies don't happen to Christians, you are believing a false prosperity gospel. God may choose to take everything from us or He may choose to bless us. Either way, He is good all the time. It doesn't even have to be death. When we lose our job, don't get the promotion we wanted, things are hard financially, God is still good!!! He never promised the Christian life would be easy. Those that are preaching/believing that the Christian life is easy are preaching/believing a false prosperity gospel and that is scary! We must trust God when things don't go how we thought they would.
That has been so heavy on my heart lately as I see people believing in a prosperity gospel and not even realizing it. God chose to take Savannah Grace at 15 months old. It hurts! It still hurts. I wish she were still here. I wish I could see her blonde hair and crystal blue eyes! I wish I could see her, Penny, and Ford play together! I think P would love having a big sister! Grief definitely changes over time. Some things are easier and some things are harder. P asks a lot of questions about her sister. Today at church, she looked at my necklace that has a picture of Savannah on it. She said, "That's Vavannah. I love her still!" She kissed my necklace, then put the picture up against her cheek and cuddled with it for a minute. It was sweet! She misses her sister.