One Year

Tuesday, July 24, 2012 marks one year since Savannah Grace left us to go be with Jesus.  It's hard to believe it has already been a year.  I can't believe that this time last year I was spending the last few days, on Earth, with my sweet girl.  We had no idea.  In a way, I think that was a blessing.  We didn't get to say goodbye, but we probably wouldn't have been able to handle that.  God knew what was best for us.  I often think back to the morning and day that she died.  Even though it was such a horrible day, I know that God was with us every step of the way.  He never left us.  He promises us that he will never leave us or forsake us.  Some people say, "How could God have let this happen?"  We know that God is sovereign, and in his wisdom, he chose for this to happen.  We can't question Him but have to trust.

I wonder what Savannah is doing in Heaven right now.  I wonder what she is like.  Is she still a baby?  I don't know.  I do know that she is perfectly ok.  She is beholding the saviors face right now!  As much as I miss her and want her back, I can't even imagine pulling her away from what she is experiencing now.  One day I will see her again.

A few months ago, I was wondering "How do I know if Savannah really is in Heaven?"  So I prayed for a little while.  After that, I went to my Bible Reading Plan.  It is a "read through the Bible in a year" plan that has taken me more than a year, but that is ok.  The point is for me to read through the whole Bible no matter how long it takes.  Anyways, I was in 2 Samuel.  The passage I read was about David's child being sick.  The child dies and David (who had been fasting while the child was sick) worshiped and ate food.

"And he said, "While the child was alive, I fasted and wept, for I said 'Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?  But now he is dead; why should I fast?  Can I bring him back again?  I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."  2 Samuel 12:22


Later on you read that David's older son dies and David weeps over him because he would be separated from God forever because of his sin.

I was very thankful to have read that first part that night.  I felt like God had ordained that to happen!!!

I believe that my sweet Savannah is in Heaven and I will see her again where there is no more death and tears.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers.  I have heard from several people that the 2nd year is the hardest.  I honestly thought that it would be a lot easier after a year had passed, but I must say that it has been harder the last couple of weeks.  We miss Savannah so much.  We think about things that she may be doing if she were here with us.  We tell Penelope about her big sister.  On Tuesday, we are going to do things that Savannah liked to do.  One thing we are doing is taking Penelope to Story Time at Barnes and Noble and then to Chick-fil-a.  Savannah and I used to do that on Tuesday mornings.

Here are a few pictures of our Savannah Grace:

Hanging out in my float

Her hair was finally long enough to put in a ponytail.

 Those who knew her, remember her scoot!

 Walking with daddy at the beach.

 Reaching up for daddy.

 Playing in a tidal pool.

 Beautiful little Savannah Grace.

 The last picture I ever took of her face.  (The last official one is of her butterfly bloomers that match this dress she has on.)

Sweet P is here!!!

It's hard to believe that my little girl will be one month old this week.  She arrived June 5th weighing 8.8 pounds.  Crazy!  She came quickly.  We were only at the hospital for a few hours before she was born.  I love her so much.  I can just sit and stare at her for long periods of time.  She has been a good sleeper from the beginning.  For the first two weeks I had to actually wake her up at night to feed her.  After she gained back to her birth weight, I was given the clear to let her sleep as long as she wanted.  She usually gets up once at night to eat.  Sometimes it is 2 am and sometimes it is 5:15 am.  I never know which one it will be.  She eats and then goes back to sleep.  It makes a big difference in how you feel when you get sleep.

I am enjoying her so much!  Loosing Savannah made me really appreciate those around me.  I want to make the most out of everyday because I am not promised the next breath.   Even when she wakes me up in the middle of the night and as hard as it is to emerge from the warm covers, I am so thankful that she is here and that she is healthy and can eat.  Our day usually consists of her eating, sleeping, diaper changes, repeat.  haha!  I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything.  She started smiling yesterday which is one of the coolest things.  Her personality is really starting to show.

Here are a few pictures from our first month: