Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-38

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Riding Out the Storm

So, this week has been one of the most difficult so far.  Lots of tears but good times too.  I think for this post, I am going to write about some of the funny/crazy things that happened this week to take a break from some of the harder things.

It is crazy that we had an earthquake and a hurricane in the same week in Raleigh, NC.  That doesn't happen.  Thankfully, both of them were just enough to be felt but not bad.  With the earthquake, at first I thought it was the washing machine, but my friend noticed that the whole house was shaking leading us to turn on the news and see that we had an earthquake.  Crazy!  The hurricane brought some crazy winds and periods of heavy rain but it wasn't too scary...well, our puppy Aspen thought it was really scary.  It took everything within me to get her to go outside long enough to go potty.  She was too scared to go outside by herself, so I had to get an umbrella, brave the high winds, and walk around with her.  Yesterday afternoon, after we had been outside for her to go potty, I looked down at her and she was shaking all over.  Absolutely terrified.  She did have a rough night on Friday night though.  Maybe that had something to do with it.  She was outside playing (on Friday night) before the clouds starting rolling in from the hurricane.  All of a sudden, it started pouring down rain, and sure enough, Aspen was out in the middle of it...and she was soaking wet.  We knew we would have to give her a bath before we let her in the house and we knew we couldn't leave her outside b/c we didn't know how bad the storm would become over the night.  So, in the garage, we filled a plastic swimming pool full of water and for some reason, thought this would be a good idea.  We didn't have her doggie shampoo with us, so we had to use our body wash.  We lathered her up really well and were getting ready to rinse her off when she slipped out of her collar and ran out in the front yard.  She thought it would be good to roll in the dirt and somehow she managed to run while having her face on the ground.  (I guess she was trying to get all the soap and water off her face.)  Bless her heart, we had to start the bathing process over again.  After we washed her the second time, she ran to the door and just sat there shaking, terrified.  Anyway, she is now clean...except today, after church, I was outside playing with her and noticed that she had grass stains on her face.  Oh well, I guess grass stains are ok. She is such a sweet dog with a lot of personality.

I know this post didn't have a lot of discussion about how we are doing but I can leave a few things to pray for.  We still have a long road of grief ahead of us, so pray that we will continue to trust God and be open and honest with each other in how we are doing.  We are thankful for the peace of God that has been there all along.  My daddy always reminds me that when I am feeling overwhelmed to remember that I don't have to do everything today.  I just have to do the things of today and not worry about how I will feel tomorrow or in the future (like Christmas, etc.).  Those words have been very helpful right now.  We are so thankful for all the love of family and friends.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers.  We definitely need it now. 





Monday, August 22, 2011

A New Post

It has been almost a month since we lost our sweet girl.  I miss her (it feels like) more and more everyday.  It hurts a lot but I can smile in the fact that she is in Heaven and has more joy than anyone here on Earth can imagine.  We have had some closure this week because we found out what happened.  It is something that I don't want to share on here but I can tell you that it was something that we could not control and something we could not have stopped.  It was something that was extremely rare (one doctor told us they had never seen that happen before) and it is not hereditary  (praise the Lord!)  Even though I know that God ordains the number of our days, it was very helpful and gave me peace that we didn't do anything wrong and there was not anything that we could do to stop it.  That is all I am going to say about that.

One of my friends came up to me on Sunday and (I was very thankful for her honesty) said that she didn't know what to say to me.  I totally understood that and I was so glad she said that.  I told her and I want to tell you that when talking to me you don't have to have something profound to say.  Sometimes I may feel like talking about it but sometimes I may feel like talking about normal stuff or be in the mood to hear a joke or watch a funny movie.  So, don't feel that you have to come up to me and say something super whatever but you can talk to me about normal stuff too.  (If that makes sense.) 

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone for being so loving and caring.  Even with it being a month since we lost our girl, the love and care and cards, meals, etc have not stopped.  We feel so loved and could not ask for better friends, family, church, etc. 

Things have been especially hard being back here in Raleigh trying to get into the "normal" swing of things.  It is really hard when I see other kids playing together, especially when I see other kids playing with Savannah's closest friends.  It is hard and I usually cry but that is ok.  It is part of the process.  Even Aspen (our puppy) knows that Savannah is not here anymore.  She loved Savvy G and she did whatever it took to protect Savannah.  My mom and mother-in-law said Aspen was in Savannah's room and sniff everything in the room, then looked in Savannah's crib and whimpered.  It makes me happy that Aspen remembers Savannah.  It makes me happy when other kids ask me where baby Savannah is.  It is hard, (and I usually cry) but it makes me happy that other kids remember her.

We do want to have more kids and soon through pregnancy and adoption.  With that comes a lot of fears but God will give us grace at the exact time that we need it.  Yes, it is easier to say than believe but I can look back over my life and the last month and see that lived out.

Please continue praying for us.  We are experiencing some of the hardest days right now but we are so thankful for your love and prayers.  This was a long post and I didn't go back to change grammatical errors (mostly b/c I am a musician and not an English language person.)  Anyways, we love you and look forward to talking to you soon!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A few pictures from Washington

I tried to add pictures of our trip to Maryland to my last post but the internet was running slow and wouldn't let me post them.  Hannah actually took these pictures.  I hope you enjoy!

 Look at this good looking group of people.  I really enjoyed getting to know those six people.  They are super fun.

Hannah, Claire, and me standing in front of the White House!!!

 A tense game of Settlers.  Haha, not really!  Becca won!  Great job Becca!  I was so tired and doing so poorly this game that I was willing to trade anything at the end of the game.

Monday, August 15, 2011

All I Have Is Christ

It has been quite a few days since I have posted a note.  I was out of town at a music conference with my church's music team (Worship God Conference).  We went to Maryland from Wednesday until Saturday.  It was a great conference.  I learned a lot.  I laughed a lot, cried some, but overall enjoyed it and am so glad I went.  One of the songs we sang was All I Have Is Christ.  That is pretty much my favorite song.  I sang it to Savannah almost every night.  At the conference, there was one part of the song that really stuck out to me.  The part that says "Oh Father use my ransom life in any way you choose, and let my song forever be my only hope is you."  I used to think about that verse as being a little afraid to sing it because if I sang it and meant it, God might move me somewhere far away from home like Montana or Africa.  I realized it means so much more than that.  I mean, that is part of it, but being willing to give your life completely over to God to use you and your situations in any way possible for His glory.  (I'm not sure if that makes sense or not.)  Part of me was not ready to sing that part yet.  It is hard but I will be praying that God will change that in my heart.

On Thursday morning (of the retreat) I was having a hard morning.  There were a few thousand people at the conference...I think, I am bad at judging crowd sizes.  Since it was a music conference, most everyone can sing really really well!  I was joking with one girl that there was a 10 part harmony going on even though that is not even possible.  haha!  Anyways, just looking out at the crowd (we were in the balcony) hearing the beautiful music and seeing everyone praising the Lord made me think about Savannah in Heaven praising God and how much more she is seeing and experiencing than I can even fathom.  I cried out of joy for her but also out of sadness because I miss her so much.  I had two of my girlfriends at the conference with me just sit there with me and cry and that was the best thing they could have done at that moment.

On Saturday, after the conference ended, we stopped by Washington, D.C. on the way home.  Because of some bad directions, we spent 2 hours on the metro trying to find a particular restaurant.  It was good that it happened that way because it made for a funny story and good bonding time.  We didn't have much time in DC so we walked by the White House and saw it and we went to the Smithsonian Museum of American History.  I was able to see the music room.  It was closed last time I was in Washington for remodeling.  The instruments were absolutely beautiful!  Next, we saw the First Lady's room.  I had so much fun in there.  They actually already had Michelle's inaugural ball gown in there.  It was so beautiful!  That is about all we had time for.  I wanted to see Julia Child's kitchen, but I kinda forgot about it since we were in a hurry.  

Well, that is all for now folks.  I will try to post more frequently than I did this week.  Truths that I am holding on to right now are that God is sovereign, He works all things for our good even though we may not understand His plan.  I have seen God move in big ways among my family and friends.  I am thankful for that but in my selfishness would take it all back to have Savannah back but I know that this is God's plan and I am trusting Him through it even though it is hard.  Oh yeah, if you don't know the song "All I Have Is Christ", I encourage you to go to Youtube or grooveshark and listen to it.  It is very encouraging. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Day by Day

As you know, Eric and I (plus our family and friends) have experienced the hardest thing we have every experienced.  We are so thankful for our family, friends, church, neighborhood, neighbors, (most people fit into more than one of those categories) but mostly for God's grace that has been poured out on us.  We have received so much love during this time.  We had people clean our house, provide (and still providing) meals, encouragement, prayer, the funeral cost were completely covered, cards, financial support, flowers, yard work completed, and so, so much more.  I can't even list everything that has been done for us.  We feel so loved.  I am sure that there were tons going on to help that we didn't even know about.  Our church family has been so amazing and helpful.  They have loved and provided for Eric and me, plus my family, so much.  We are so blessed to have such a wonderful church.  If you don't have a church family, and you live near Raleigh, I would definitely encourage you to come to Treasuring Christ Church.  It is in downtown Raleigh.  Message me and I can give you more details.

During a time like this, some would be tempted to question God and be angry with God.  It is only by God's grace that I have had a peace through this whole situation.  I know that this is a part of God's plan and that he works all things for our good.  (Read Romans 8)  Savannah is in the arms of Jesus seeing great and wonderful things that we cannot even imagine.  I do long for Heaven, for Earth is not my home, but I want to glorify God in everything I do and tell others about the peace and love that only God can give.

Please continue to pray for us.  Pray that we will continue to trust God in his plan for our lives.  Pray that we will continue to have peace.  Pray that the gospel will continue to go out.



The First Post

I decided to start a blog.  I never thought I would have a blog but I thought it might be helpful during this time in my life.  I want this to be something that encourages you in your faith.  Writing is not my favorite thing to do and I'm not very good at it (music is more my cup of tea) but I think this will be good for me.